Gay & Proud in Muskegon

Vintage Twinks

2012-02-14T21:16:00.000-08:00

More twinks from the 70's and 80's. Back pre-internet - when you had to sneak off to the big city and find that special section in the adult book store. You would buy the magazines and slip them into a non descript brown paper bag and off you went.

And sometimes there was even a story to go with all the cock sucking and ass fucking. Those were the days. Meanwhile here are just a few more for your enjoyment:

And now we can round out this post with a few of the cuties to give you something to do with Right Hand Randy - LOL - Enjoy!

And I will end it here - for the moment - but just remember back in the day this was how we got our rocks off!! Have fun with it and comment if you can get your hand to do some typing. :-)

Valentines Day Disaster?

2012-02-14T20:47:00.000-08:00

I sure do hate it when I get a brush off on Valentine's Day - okay this is a bitch and whine post but really. Last Friday I met this guy, we'll call him Bill (not his real name) and he is a gay nudist, as am I.(okay no jokes) We meet - he comes into the apartment - hands me a bottle of wine and a soda (pop) to put in the fridge. We end up going to dinner at the Masonic Lodge. The Lodge does a wonderful perch dinner every Friday. Only 10 bucks a person. Anyways we are just about done with our meal when Bill excuses himself and heads to the restroom. Well I am finished pretty much with my desert and coffee when he comes back. He tells me that he has an upset stomach and thinks that it is best if he just went home. He said I could keep the wine and the soda... lucky me.... but he doesn't think he will be able to stay. We go back to my apartment, he again apologizes and says those three awful words. "it's not you." When I heard those words I knew for a fact that he didn't want to be with me. I said good bye and I swear he was on top of his car, well ready to go, like he just escaped from Alcatraz or something.

Well I let it go on Saturday, but then it started to really bug me. I had not heard anything from him on Sunday or Monday. So today I wrote him a email. Well I had written him one on Sunday and gotten no response. But today of all days, I get a response. And it said the following: (redacted to protect the guilty)

gaybill

(1 hour ago) Hi John, I have to say I don't think we're as compatible as either of us had hoped. It is true that I wasn't feeling well when we met last Friday. But, I also feel we may not have enough in common to establish a friendship. My apologies.... No regrets on your part, I hope. Don't give up on meeting other nudists....I certainly haven't! Stay Naked...
Bill

Okay I don't know about you but reading that on Valentine's Day made me feel like crap. He didn't think for a minute to even give me a chance. Okay so he wasn't feeling the vibe. I could tell that when he first walked into my apartment. It was a bit messy, and it's not in the best neighborhood, nor is it a fancy condo or anything. But it is my house. And the whole thing at dinner, what kinda of fool did he take me for?

And the really sad part about all of this is - I really liked this guy. So what did I take away from this experience? Well I got out of it a good perch dinner and a bottle of pretty good wine. And a reminder that sometimes you just aren't good enough!

The Time is Now

2012-02-10T11:46:00.000-08:00

If you are ever going to love me,

Love me now, while I can know

The sweet and tender feelings

Which from true affection flow.

Love me now

While I am living,

Do not wait until I'm gone.

And then have it chiseled in marble,

Sweet words on ice-cold stone.

If you have tender thoughts of me,

Please tell me now.

If you wait until I'm sleeping,

Never to awaken,

There will be death between us

And I won't hear you then.

So, if you love me, even a little bit,

Let me know it while I am living

So I can treasure it.

-------------- Author Unknown

Adult Images - what happened to them?

2012-02-02T09:46:00.000-08:00

Okay I wanted to post some vintage gay porn right? So I did. I did not know however, that I made the album on Skydrive which you may or may not know is Microsoft's new online all in one area. Similar to what Google plus is to Goggle. It has a photo sharing applet, which I used. I didn't know it was going to me on my Skydrive account. I thought it would just be on my blog. So I dug into the vintage twink pictures I had and posted 11 images.

The album was up for approximately a day and a half when it was taken down. I received an email telling me that my whole Skydrive account had been suspended for violation of Terms of Service. I immediately accessed my account and saw the suspension notice. I was able to reactive my account with the understanding I would remove the "offending" images - which I did.

But those images are still on this blog -but you can not enlarge them to view them or save them in the larger format. For that I am truly sorry.

Right now I am looking for another application which is not affiliated with anyone, that I can make albums with and can post here. In the meantime here is something I hope you will like.

We all need a little art from time to time.

American Muscle Power

Does Size Really Matter?

2012-02-01T15:21:00.000-08:00

I don't care if you are gay or str8 - men have such an obsession with their penis it's unbelievable. Is it the right length, cut or uncut, shave or be hairy down there. Dick pumps, and pills. pulling and yanking on your dick. I mean all this seems to get so frenetic that it almost makes me want to lose my mind. Almost I said.

I am going to post a series of images which shows the average size of a man's penis in a number of different countries. This I found was very interesting.

Now it appears from first glance that most men on the planet come in at around 5 - 6 inches. This is of course an erect penis measurement. The images also represent girth. And while girth is not determined in these images.I think you get a good idea of the representation.

I find that I derive great please from my penis. Now having said that an explanation is in order. Without going into specific detail - let us just say as a gay man, I have found many uses for my penis. Either by masturbating, or by engaging in oral or anal sex, it seems that this one part of the body gives more pleasure then just about any other part of the body, with maybe the exception being the mouth.

Real or a Joke? You Be the Judge

Now I find it interesting that the penis while not bone or cartilage, can be hurt. The old "broke dick" syndrome. I saw an purported x-ray once of a broken dick (see above) and thought for sure it was a joke. But I did find information about the fact that if a man is having vaginal intercourse, he could conceivably damage the muscles that

become engorged with blood in the arousal state.If he is to large, while thrusting during the act, he could hit the back of the vagina with such force as to cause himself an injury. I can only imagine the pain a man must go through when that happens, both physical and emotional.

But I truly believe that the man's obsession with his penis is a bit over blown (pardon the pun). As you can see it really isn't a thing of immense concern. We all came into this world with basically the same equipment. And as you can see while some countries are much smaller. The average among most countries still ranges from 5 inches to 6 inches.

So I guess the old adage is true, it's not the size of the tool that really matters but how you use it that counts. For all those wankers out there, size doesn't matter - well it doesn't to me. The size of a man's penis does not define the type of man he is. And that's just what I think......

SOPA and PIPA and the Gay Community

2012-01-18T07:20:00.000-08:00

Why are these two proposed bills in Congress of any interest to the gay community? In the chat room last night someone said, "so long as my sites are not affected, I really don't care. I mean it is an American problem right?" - NO not really. We have seen this kind of behavior all over the world. Just look at China - and more important the various "summer revolutions" that occurred last year - all with the help of social media.

Now the purpose of these laws are to prevent foreign "enemies" from stealing and pirating intellectual properties from the United States. Well you know that sounds good on the face of it. But to me that also is an opening to get the big fat salami from a government who is not very safe when it comes to sex.

Imagine if you will: gay.com is blocked in the United States, because an Evangelical Christian zealot says that his son's pictures and profile were put up there erroneously. And therefore he wants the whole site blocked in the US. Possible? Under the provisions of those two bills YES!

Facebook, Google, Wikipedia are all at risk. Social revolution stifled, hell just the first amendment is at risk here.

You know if ever it were a time for the GLBT community to stand up and scream, "Hell No" - now is the time.

Please contact your local legislatures and tell them to vote NO on SOPA and PIPA. Don't let big entertainment conglomerates determine who has access to the internet and who doesn't. Today some major players on the internet have chosen to blackout there sites. Wikipedia is one of them. But they have a way for you to determine who your local lawmakers are. Go to there site: Wikipedia - English There you can put your zip code in and they will give you the address of your law makers. And your best bet is to flip open your cell phone and place a call. Let them know you do vote and if it's passed you won't forget them in November.

This is no joke or scare tactic. This is the real deal! Act now before it's too late.

The preceding has been a Pubic Service Message - Okay Public. Take your pick..LOL

Grand Rapids the #10 Gayest City in America??

2012-01-10T19:02:00.000-08:00

If you are familiar with the Advocate magazine - then you will know - they rated 15 cities in America for their gayness. Well rather then try and explain it all, I will just post the link here and let you read it for yourself. http://news.advocate.com/post/15571734525/gayest-cities-in-america-2012

It's.. a New Year

2012-01-01T08:02:00.000-08:00

I woke up today after having been up until 4 a.m., and as I shook the sleep out of my eyes, I realized I had a chance to start a-nude.. Okay start anew but still - I will go for my walk, call Mom and wish her a happy birthday and make a small but elegant repasse. And then start out 2012 in a new and glorious way. Sometimes I feel I just make way to much over nothing. Therefore I have made some resolutions

1) Keep writing in my memoirs.

2) Keep blogging

3) Get weight and diabetes monitoring under better control.

4) Walk at least a mile a day - three times a week.

5) Eat better, start Carb counting.

Well the first one is a no boner - no brainer, keep writing in my memoirs. It's the only place I can write how I truly feel about things without feeling I am being judged. And the second one goes along somewhat with the first. I have to devote some time each day to blogging as well. I feel it is important to write something everyday, even if it's just a small filler piece.

Number three is a biggie, my weight , as it seems to do in the winter, tends to get out of hand. I have noticed that my diabetes seems to be getting worse as a result. My goal is to drop about 25 pounds and get back to around 175 pounds. And being a diabetic it is important that I keep a good record of my blood glucose, I am so terrible at that. But I aim to do better.

My fourth resolution is exercise. Going to the gym is out of the question. Money and transportation seem to be limiting factors. So I will walk - a brisk walk three times a week of at least a mile if not more. If nothing else it will get me out of the house and around people. Or at least out in the real world for a change.

And finally - eating better and counting carbohydrates. I think 3, 4 and 5 pretty much gel together.

And my last resolution, even though it is not listed, is to learn to like myself. Attitude change, like regime change often comes as a result of a long hard struggle. I have been through so much in my life, most of it just recently within the past 15 years. I have turned myself into a self-loathing, narcissistic person. I have done that to myself. And so in 2012, I will lighten up. I will not forget where I have been, but I will accept the fact I am who I am. I need to be more self-centered, in a positive way, for my own good. Work on being a nicer, more giving and forgiving person.

It doesn't seem to be a long list, and I believe it is an achievable list. My goals, I believe, are not to outrageous. I look forward to keeping you abreast of my progress. What about you? What have you resolved to do in 2012? Are they realistic goals? Anyways, I wish you luck in the coming year. I think together we can make it a better year.

Celebrating the New (Nude) Year

2011-12-31T13:41:00.000-08:00

Tonight is the night. For parties and just general craziness. So I sit here all alone, which I guess is by choice. And say goodbye to 2011. And while not much happened in 1897 on this spot, so the same can be said for 2011. It's kinda a rough way to go I guess, but one brings it on himself. How many of you have self-imposed yourself into the closet. You say you are out, as I do, but are we really. Truth is I am not a flamer or flamboyant type of person. And so I find it hard to express my sexuality. So I spend my time at home,watching gay porn on the internet.

I wonder if 2012 will be any better. The better-ness if you can call it that, I have found comes in small bits and pieces. Someone I never expected has come into my life, and he's not looking for what' s between my legs, he's looking for what's between my ears. Now that is scary in and of itself. Not him, but what's between my ears. Ha ha... anyways, my family is slowly coming around. And I am actually trying to get out of the apartment, if for now other reason then my neighbors are driving me crazy.

Well 2011, thank heaven's you are gone, and 2012, you better be a whole site better, cuz if you ain't, I am just gonna kick your sorry ass.

Happy New (Nude) Year.

Express yourself by being naked - he made you this way, we weren't born into this world wearing a Gucci suit or dress right?

Rockin in the Nude year

2011-12-27T11:14:00.000-08:00

Well it is getting towards the end of the old year and it's time to look towards the nude (new) year.

I thought I would serve up a little vintage eye candle just to make your spirits bright.

This past year has been a rather dull one for me. I know it could have been better but such is life. I enjoyed the summer, it was warm and bright, but we saw the end of our traditional summer festival - thank you budget's and apathy. But I must admit my Christmas holiday turned out a lot better then I had hoped. I met new friends, and reconnected somewhat with my family. So all in all I shouldn't be acting like life has passed me by. It hasn't. So while this won't be the last post of the year, I do want to take this time, if I procrastinate that is, to wish each and everyone of you a new and prosperous New Year. And hopefully along the way you will find some fun, some friendship and some prosperity in the Nude year... Just remember to play safe and be happy, and who knows what the new year will bring. Thanks for following along this last year and I will try to make this next year even more of a blast.

Twas' the Night Before Christmas....

2011-12-24T12:46:00.000-08:00

Well it's the night before Christmas, and all through the house.... an old poem by who I don't know. But there is midnight Mass on the television from Rome, and the local bishop does the same on a different channel you know. A bit of eggnog and a cute little Christmas movie and that pretty much is how i will spend my evening. My Mother dropped by to take me out to lunch last week, a nice gesture for sure, I missed her so much. My friend John stopped by with a few presents in hand, surprised to say the least for I had just met him last month. I thought this Christmas time was to be sad and depressing, but I have felt for the first time in a long time, both loved and blessed. The only thing that I felt bothered about, which really isn't to bad, was the people that gave me presents said... "don't open them until Christmas or else!!" I don't think anyone knows how tough it is for a neurotic, ADHD to keep his hands off the packages... I am doing my best which is all that I can say, Merry Christmas to all - and have a wonderful day!!!

The Truth About God - And Homosexuality!!

2011-12-20T14:15:00.000-08:00

Well here is the true story - about homo's and the bible. Straight (pardon the pun) from the Big guy's own mouth. Enjoy!

A Early Christmas Present

2011-12-15T20:23:00.001-08:00

Vintage Twinks

VIEW SLIDE SHOW

DOWNLOAD ALL

What happens when nobody emails?

2011-12-15T20:10:00.001-08:00

The terror of the internet, you have all these gay friends, tons and tons… but then all of a sudden nobody writes anymore. You check email, Adam4Adam, Silverdaddies and Manplay. And nothing. Never considering the rest of the world is celebrating the holidays or at least getting ready to and doesn’t have a lot of time for playing around. Oh there are a few guys out there, you could call them regulars, definitely not first timers that call. But this time of year it seems things get really quiet for me.

When I have to much free time on my hands my mind begins to wander. And sometimes I find myself into a place that is best left alone.

Come to think of it the phone hasn’t rung in a very long time. I know the phone works both ways but of the last three calls to my Mother I initiated three of them. I guess that comes from being the black sheep of the family.

Which I guess brings me to the point of this post. How do we come to reconcile with those we have hurt, when they don’t really want to even talk to you. Does the hurt and anger run that deep that a person will be nice on the outside and totally hateful on the inside?

I guess maybe these are just points to ponder. Feel free to comment if you wish. I’d really like to hear other peoples opinions.

Time to Reflect

2011-12-13T21:22:00.000-08:00

Well we are drawing near to the end of another year, and so I will reflect on things a little bit. The cause for gay Americans got a little bit better this year with the passage of a gay marriage law in New York state. A good thing. More and more gay teenagers made it into the news this year, most because the couldn't take being bullied anymore so they killed themselves. Michigan passed a tougher anti-bullying law, which did not include a religious caveat that would have sanctioned bullying if it was because the bully had a religious objection.

In my own personal life, it's been another of many wasted years. My health get's slowly worse, but more from age then from my diabetes. I am still feeling left out at the holidays. And quite frankly - it's all getting pretty old. But on a good note, I didn't get evicted from my apartment - so that is a good thing.

http://equalitymi.org/

And what about the cause for gay rights in my local community. Well the gay stay hidden and the cause just get's ignored. I find it a bit frustrating to see how our people in general have moved along with the rest of the world and here we sit in Muskegon, oblivious to it all. Sigh... maybe I should move to San Francisco, at least there I could feel a part of something.

Update: Craigslist Hookups

2011-12-09T14:47:00.000-08:00

Well it started out as.... he is horny and wants to fuck. That was how he replied to my Craigslist advertisement. Okay let me back up a bit, As you well know I have a rule no one under 25 please. The reason for the rule is two fold. First - there is enough stress and drama going on with that age group. Usually by 25 guys have the shit sorted out. Not always and certainly not everyone. And the second reason is: I am 51 years old for heaven's sake, why should I be chasing 18 and 19 year olds anyways - just to creepy.. Well this time I made an exception, he was 22 or so he said. He sends me a picture that he claims is 6 years old. So I give him my details, he says he wants to hookup, so I say come on over.

He gets here and he comes in. He is six foot plus, tall. Thin - wavy black hair. He looked nice. He is standing in the front room, and as usual I start blabbering about absolutely nothing, and he looks me up and down. Now I am on my guard. I was ready to go back in the bedroom and get it on.

He says, "I have to run back out to my car for a second, to grab some condoms" Well I sure as hell know what that means. He heads back out to his car, not at a leisurely walk - but a mad dash, as if Jeffrey Dahmer himself had placed the advertisement. He jumps in his care and I stand on the porch waving good by to the stupid bastard. I guess that is what I get for offering my body to an absolute stranger.

I went back inside and sat down and thought, what did I do wrong? I checked out the refrigerator - not body parts there, then the freezer, just a loaf of bread and a lot of leftovers I will never eat.

And again, I decided, to much drama - 25 and up.. LOL

Update - Vintage Twinks Blog

2011-11-30T12:39:00.000-08:00

Well it is finally gone. When you click on the link all you get is a 404 and a 500 error. So I pulled the link off - but I was able to get most of the images from the blog before it closed so we all can still enjoy them. Bishonen - you did a great job.

The Craigslist Murders - And Craigslist in the Gay Community.

2011-11-29T15:29:00.000-08:00

Well I was sitting here thinking about the Craigslist murders in Ohio. If you are not aware of what that is - I have put a link here, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/26/ohio-craigslist-murders-_n_1114312.html

Two people, a 54 year old man and a 16 year old boy (okay stop the giggling and snickering.) posted a listing on Craigslist purporting to offer a job. And when people answered the ad, there were told to come and meet. And when they did they were brutally slain.

Well that got me to thinking about what some gay men, including myself, use Craigslist for. Hooking up. How many have either posted an ad, or answered an ad on Craigslist? You go to that section entitled Personals/Man Looking for Man - and click your mouse. And there you will find ad's for men looking for everything sexual under the sun. From NSA, to committed relationships, from fisters to hands jobs.. Nothing is taboo and nothing is off limits. But then you answer the ad - scary at first. But Craigslist offers a bit of anonymity by obscuring your email address - actually they us an email forwarding service - so unless you give the guy your actual email address - it will all filter through Craigslist servers.

I have met a few guys this way, and have not had a bad experience. Maybe I have just been lucky. But this is where using common sense is imperative. I usually prefer to host. This way I can stay in control of the situation. I prefer the first meeting to be in a public place. The park across the street from my flat is perfect. I like to talk for a bit before we get down to business, to kinda get a feeling for the guy. And if I am not feeling the vibe? I tell him up front. In the ad I require photo's - of their face - and then any other body parts they want to show off is fine by me. But if they won't provide a face picture in there first reply email, I just delete them and move on.

Okay so now the question becomes, is it safe? There is always a risk in anonymous meetings, but if you play it safe - do your homework as they say, it can be safe and fun.

Oh and by the way, don't ask for money in your ad... it's the quickest way to get booted. Craigslist has become real sensitive about that of recent. Wink **

Loss of a Great Blog

2011-11-29T14:57:00.000-08:00

Recently, I found out that Vintage Twinks has closed there blog. I have left the link up until there finally close down. They are just not doing and new posts. But I was able to procure the bulk of there postings and will continue to share them as I can. I am still looking for other vintage gay porn sites, I have to believe they are out there. the 60's, 70's and 80's were such a good time for gay erotic photography. Fancy name for gay porn. LOL. But it was the pre-Internet days, and the pre-shave them within a inch of becoming female. Meaning many of these guys are just as they were, hairy and beautiful. I will not however turn this blog into a vintage site. But when you get to be my age, everything looks to be vintage. And like a fine vintage bottle of wine, it just get's better with age. Tell me what you think... okay? I'd really like to hear from you.

Update to my Blog

2011-11-28T07:53:00.000-08:00

It is not quite the new year yet, but I decided my blog needed a face lift and a re-evaluation. This blog originally started out to be about the gay scene in Muskegon. But as often happens in the real world it became a place for me to vent and rant.. and basically just bitch about my life. And while a blog like that is okay I guess, it shouldn't pretend to be something else. Also the lack of regular postings has also put a bit of a smack down on this blog. I mean really how many times will a person come back to a blog and if they see nothing? Well I think you get my drift.

So having said that! I am going to make some changes. As you can see I have changed my template. I have added some adult images, and will continue to whine and bitch, now for the real changes. I am going out and beyond Muskegon - and look for the true meaning of being gay. I want to find those thing that interest me that relate to the gay experience.

Books, films, culture - all the things that make me who I am, and what I want to be. And hopefully, along the way we might find together some really cool spots to hang out, some fun things to do, and really feel more a part of Muskegon.

Adult Images

2011-10-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

I bet you are wondering.... what's with the Vintage Porn on the right side of the blog? Well I decided if I had to put a warning up about adult content, then why not have some "adult content"?

I decided to climb into my Wayback machine and go back to the days of my youth and draw from that time some really nice, and erotic vintage gay porn. There were some real stars back in the day.

Back in the day, this was all there was, there were no blogs, or pay gay porn sites, no internet, hell when this stuff came out, it was mostly found either by the back room of a straight adult porn shop, or by mail. I didn't enjoy these type of magazines until I was 20 years old and living overseas. But those were the days of real stars and lot's of action. If you wanted movies, they were available in 8mm or 16mm - for you home film projector.

I only wished I has seen this types of material when I was in high school. Maybe things might have turned out differently for me. But I lived in a small community and being "gay" back then meant that you were a happy kid. So I offer these images in the hopes they bring back some fond memories. If you are offended by this, then all I can say is after all this is a gay blog.

Nothing to Write About

2011-10-24T05:27:00.000-07:00

I sit here this morning at 8 a.m., with my first cup of coffee, and thought I had nothing to write about. For a short period of time I shut down this blog and several others I authored, because of a person who was harassing me. But after a while I got angry, I no longer have a Facebook page and hopefully this person will leave me be. I wanted to be angry at this person. I wanted to hate this person, but I found I just couldn't do that. I had a rough go a few years back, I got in trouble with the law, and now some people just won't let it go. I did. I have spend six years of my life trying to get myself turned around. Have I done that? Gotten myself turned around? For the most part I would like to think I have.

And then something like this happens, and I am reminded that some people don't have the capacity to forgive. And the attacks are always hit and run. They don't want a civil discourse, or an explanation. This person had decided in their mind all about me. So I have to block their posts, I had to close down my blogs. But that was done out of fear. No more fear. I have done nothing wrong. I have decided I will not let people like that stop me. I have chosen to not let what happened years ago define me as the man I want to be today. so here I sit at 8:15 a.m.,with my second cup of coffee, on a Monday morning thinking I didn't have anything to write about, well I guess I did.

What do you look for in a Guy?

2011-10-11T09:46:00.000-07:00

I have often wondered, what do guys look for when they are trying to find that perfect "one"? Many gay men have preferences for hook ups, but what about for the long haul. That match which puts you with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

For me, he is almost a total opposite of me. I am impulsive, and always bouncing around. Unfocused at times and miserable with money. My perfect man would be one who understands me, his focused and totally has my back. I know it is a lot to ask of a person, but my perfect man is the one I can't stop thinking about, I wake up with his image stuck in my mind. Have I found that person? Maybe, I have to go and find out. And that is what is really the scarey part.

But I truly think that is the most exciting part. Will he feel the same way, will he care, will he love me. Will I be what he is looking for? So many questions, very few answers, but I have known this many for a lot of years. And it has taken me a while to realize how special he is. Is he perfect? Of course not, but then neither am I. But that is okay, the little quarks and foibles are what make us unique and interesting.

I met him online, along time ago. I was of course playing a game, I wasn't being the real me. But he saw through that, and when I finally confessed - he said it was okay, he was more interested in who I really am, not what i was trying to be.
And he stood by me during the absolutely worst time in my life. He never wavered once. And when things settled down and I was able to take hold of my life, he was there to support me and encourage me. This was over a 7 year period. And he lived 650 miles away from me to boot.

So I see a lot more in the perfect guy then just a stick dick, hard body or twinkish persona. You need to dig deeper into a person's soul to find the true person.

It was hard to tell him how I felt. Mainly, because I wasn't sure myself. But over time I have begun to realize how much I truly love him and want to be with him. I am not sure that he feels the same way. And that is the reason I need to be closer to him. To find out how he truly feels

If you have a story to tell I would love to hear from you. Hope it's a good one, but even if it's not, the story will add to the rich conversation.

When Good Things Happen to Good People

2011-10-05T06:32:00.000-07:00

I decided that the old adage - When Bad Things Happen to Good People - needed an update. So I asked myself how did I want to update it. I decided that Good Things Happen to Good People as well. So what does this mean? If you have spent any amount of time on the internet chatting in chat rooms, then you know that people have issues, problems and complaints.. Oh brother do they! I was no different. It took me awhile, but I began to see that what people, such as myself, were doing,was taking the wrong approach to their problems.

I decided to give this a try. Changing my approach that is. First off I decided that I no longer would have problems.. Each problem became an opportunity and a challenge. Seems simplistic doesn't it. But wait. So when asked how I am doing I could honestly say, "I have no problems, thus no complaints." Now to put it in to practice.

I had fallen behind in my rent, soon to be evicted. I was given some help from my Mom. Enough to get me one more week before I had to be out. This was done under the condition that I would find a job. Two challenges there back to back. I started putting some effort into finding a job, which in my town, state, country is more then a simple thing. When I started to see there was a systematic way about getting a job, things started to get easier. I am still looking for a job, but with a lot less stress. And a lot more interviews.

Now, as to the first challenge, staying in my house, well that one pretty much fixed itself. Back a few months ago, I had public housing assistance - but because I had some problems in my past, after one year on the program, I was found to be ineligible and was removed from the program. This is where is challenge came to a head. Last week I was taken to court and last Monday I was to be put out of my house. But my Mom came to my rescue, and she said she would pay half of my back rent, and that bought me another week.

That brings us up to yesterday. I am sitting here in my living room, when the housing supervisor knocks on my door, I was kinda stunned to see him there, but invited him in. He told me that I was going to be re-instated on the program, and that I should not have been terminated in the first place. He said that I would be re-instated back to the day I got terminated. So all my back rent would be paid. I didn't do anything to affect this change, but I figure maybe it is good luck, karma, faith.... but whatever it is... it has gotten me to believe that .... Good Things Happen to Good People.

A post script: That's what P.S. means.. Post Script - anyways, the picture is of the Board of Education clock tower in my town. I wanted to add some kind of a photo, and that is right across the street from my house. There you go!!

Leaving Your Past Behind….. Or Lessons Life Has Taught Me ….

2011-09-25T17:26:00.001-07:00

Leaving your past behind, for some can be the most liberating of things. But for others like me - it is a string of mysteries - separated by moments of pure confusion. I think that sometimes we must just pick up and move on. I often wonder what lays beyond death's door. Is there really something else? Maybe a new incarnation, or maybe still just blackness. Or maybe even, like flying in an airplane it is a means to get from one place to another.
There are times however, when life conspires to keep us mired right in the place where we settled. No job, no money, no house. No life? The shit hole we dig for ourselves? When does it get better? I truly feel for those who have lost loved ones.... and yet am jealous of those who were taken. We cry,, we mourn and in some cases celebrate those who have left us.

But over time, the graves get over run with weeds, the memories begin to fade and sometimes people just lose track and forget. Suicide, or natural death?

People say that the gay boy who committed suicide because he was bullied will burn in hell for eternity. They say God sends people who commit suicide to hell. But what about those who drove him to it? Do they get a quick ride on the down elevator too?

I guess to sum it up, lessons life taught me? To be a lonely bitter, depressed narcissist, who hates the world and his place in it. Maybe someday long after I am gone, people might read this, or some remnant of it and see that there were people in this world that hurt not because of what was done to them, but because of what was not done to them, or for them, a sad state of affairs for sure.
Originally posted in Milkboys.org forum. by JuniorMI2011

Bullying…. Does it Get Better?

2011-09-24T05:25:00.001-07:00

I recently saw in the news yet again another young soul was taken from us, 14 year old Jamey Rodeberg. Now he wasn’t the victim of a tragic accident you probably already know his story. Jamey was gay, and bullied. When I was growing up there were guys who bullied and guys who were bullied. I was bullied as a kid. Not because of my sexual orientation, I was the kid with the red hear and freckles that always seemed to stand out.

This got me to wondering, are gay kids the new red headed, freckle faced? I mean do they stand out, or is it just whispers of… “do you think he is…? I get angry when I see stories like this. I mean really, with all the other crap that is going on in the world, why can’t a kid just be left alone to grow up? Why must a parent have to find his body hanging somewhere to know what torment he was going through. Parents need to wake up, school administrators need to stop making excuses. And kids must not stay silent any longer.

I applaud the efforts of Hollywood to bring this issue to the forefront. Lady Gaga and others have I believe made a difference. But it’s not enough to say it does get better. We have to show people how it get’s better. Young Jamey made a video for the It Get’s Better Project, and he still had his fill and thought the only way out was to commit suicide. Were there signs that maybe his parent could have picked up on? It’s hard to tell. A lot of times we just attribute it to being a kid. You know kids are moody and not always acting rational. But it’s a phase they go through…. No it’s not. We as parents and other concerned adults need to stop deluding ourselves. and take action

Now the Christian right will have you believe that laws against bullying aren’t needed. And are a waste of time. Well I’d like to invite you to come to a funeral of a child who lost his life to bullying. Listen to the stories of his friends, and family. And then stand there before the cameras and tell the world that anti-bullying laws are not needed.

And what of those who do the bullying? Did you think you would get a pass in this posting? I always thought bullies were big tough guys who pushed you around and beat up on you. But bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it’s a comment made in passing, or being bumped into and call a fag, cocksucker or some other awful names. Bullies come in groups, they have to show off for there friends so what better way then to pick on someone else. Look at me, I am the big mean bully.

How does it make you feel, to know you might might have been the cause of someone’s death?
so again, I ask – when does it get better? When we as human beings wake up to the fact, that regardless of the color of our skin, or gender or sexual preference, we all just wanted to be loved and respected. and when people can come to that understanding… then and only then will it get better.

But in the meantime, we have to stand up for who we are, and no that you are not alone, call out and I will be there. I am gay and I am proud and I am here.

And to all the Jamey’s who have left us, we are sorry, and we will miss you. And we love you!